The Bachelorette Finale

In case you are unaware, I’m only watching tonight in the hopes that Jillian pulls a Jason and says she really wants Reid. If she doesn’t, I’m writing her off and hoping she’ll head back to Canada where her “aboots” don’t draw attention.

Can I just say how annoying Jillian’s mother’s interview technique is? I mean seriously, do you think anyone is going to be open and honest and heartfelt when you’re sitting in front of them with a list of questions? No. I kept waiting for the typical job interview question of “What would you say your biggest fault is?” Obviously, Kiptyn would have answered, “My name” and Ed would have said, “The fantasy suite situation.”

I think it’s a little crazy that she has two guys meeting her dad and one asks for his permission to marry her while the other says that he could see himself eventually falling in love with her. That’s a pretty big gap between the two.

Anyone else laughing at all of Ed’s “gotta seal the deal and close the loops” comments? Talk about pressure. There better be some serious romance or that boy will never live this down. In fact, I bet right now he’s sitting at home listening to the answering machine fill up with jokes at his expense. And I can’t help but wish someone had told him to pack more than one pair of short shorts for his week in Hawaii.

Jillian managed to squeeze one more helicopter ride and one more picnic into the last show which I consider very impressive.

The producers managed to squeeze 5 more shots of Kiptyn shirtless into the last show which is equally impressive.

Did Ed pick a heart shaped diamond ring? Please tell me it is a different cut. If it’s a heart then he’s a schmuck.

Ugh. Kiptyn wore a blue suit and brown shoes. And Jillian was basically wearing a wedding dress. Seriously- do they get no input from the people around them?

I feel sorry that Kiptyn had to experience being dumped for the first time on live tv.

REID!!! (Man this season has the biggest revolving door of all time!) He came back and I love him all the more for being brave enough to show up in the middle of two other guys proposals. He pulled up in an ugly cab with white sneakers and I think it’s nothing but greatness. She made the mistake of sending him away once. Now she should grab onto that man and never let go.

Wait- why is she even stopping to think about it? Seriously- what is wrong with her? Whatever her decision, I am and will forever be captain of Team Reid!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She let Reid go not once but twice. I’m out. I am done and I am out. Jillian is insane. And I am done.

I hope she and Mr. Short Shorts are very happy together. I hope he never gets worried about work again and leaves her. I hope he never gets stressed again and fails to bring the romance. I hope they have a lovely life in a very cold country where Ed will never need to own a bathing suit.

Yes, I know I’m a little too bitter.

I also know that I’m out.


3 Comments to “The Bachelorette Finale”

  1. You are so not out. Jillian can still pull a Jason. There’s always tomorrow night.

  2. i cried cuz i was laughing so hard at the question about your biggest faults….greatness.

  3. and jen, i thought the same thing about tomorrow night…but i kinda don’t think it will happen….

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