Yes, I will tell this to her future husband.

Last night we made a late run to the store. Abby saw a bag of cotton candy and asked very sweetly if we could buy it. As she has her daddy wrapped around her finger, and since they apparently share the same sweet tooth, he said yes.

Has she ever had cotton candy before? I don’t think so. But by the packaging she was certain she’d love it.

When we finally made it out of the store, the sun had set. As Abby buckled up in the back seat, Matt opened the bag and tore off a little piece. I watched him pass it back to her with these exact words- “Here you go, Abby.” Nothing more, nothing less.

Something made me turn around in my seat to watch her eat it. When I did, I noticed she had a strange, confused look on her face. Kind of like she hadn’t asked for it, or needed it, or wanted it, but okay- she’d take it.

As soon as the piece passed from Matt’s hand to Abby’s, something went wrong.

I saw her raise the cotton candy to her nose. I thought, “She’s going to smell it first, smart kid.”

Then I saw her actually push the cotton candy against her nostrils. I thought, “Oh no! She’s going to literally inhale it.”

By this time, Matt too had turned around to see what was happening. You couldn’t see her nose through the wad of sugar fluff.

But what happened next was incredible.

As I mentally panicked (but was seemingly frozen and incapable of moving) that she was about to take a deep breath of pink-colored sugar, she pulled a fast one on me.

Instead of breathing in, she breathed out. Hard.

That’s right. She blew her nose into a chunk of cotton candy.

I unfroze. I (in all my worst-parenting glory) may have literally screamed- “What ARE YOU DOING?!” and grabbed the cotton candy from her hand.

As I threw it out the window, Matt was mumbling something to the likes of “What are YOU doing? What was SHE doing? What just happened?!”

Then I burst into laughter, Abby burst into tears, and Matt stared at us in complete shock.

It quickly became clear that Abby hadn’t seen Matt open the bag. Nor had he said anything about “eating” or “candy” when he passed the piece back to her. And thanks to the lack of daylight, pink cotton candy can look an awful lot like a white piece of tissue paper.

Poor baby.

She stopped crying as soon as she realized I wasn’t mad, but honestly, I’m still laughing about it today.

The whole way home she asked me why I thought it was funny and I kept saying, “Have you ever seen a kid blow their nose on a piece of candy? No? Me either.” Turns out that’s hilarious!

Lessons learned: From now on we will make it very clear when we’re handing Abby an edible item. Also, cotton candy dissolves just as quickly when you blow your nose on it as when you put it on your tongue.

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4 Comments to “Yes, I will tell this to her future husband.”

  1. Absolutely hilarious!

  2. love it, love it, love it. Tried to read it to some friends and I couldn’t finish it b/c i was laughing too much

    • glad you liked it brady. i had the same laughing issue when i tried to tell matt about your “old people in the fridge” incident!

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