Here I Am.

In 1991, my Language Arts teacher made us write an essay telling what we thought our lives would look like in the year 2011. I distinctly remember because I had to imagine myself as a thirty year old.

My classmates went immediately to work. With pencils scribbling furiously, they wrote about future careers and houses and incomes. The boys in the class knew makes and models of the cars their adult-selves would drive and the girls wrote about husbands and the names they had picked out for their distant children.

I was surrounded by dreamers. And man, did they know how to dream. There were doctors and missionaries and astronauts sitting next to me. Entrepreneurs and professional athletes and world famous singers ate lunch with me.

My paper was blank.

I couldn’t picture life as a teenager, much less as an adult. I didn’t know how the other kids did it. And so easily, too. They didn’t even notice all the hard work and the hurdles and the fear that I saw when looking into that crystal ball.

I almost took a zero on the assignment.

I ended up writing a standard line or two about having a college degree and owning a house and having a good job.

Nothing specific. I could barely dream of the future; I wasn’t about to give it away to my teacher.

But now, today, I’m thirty. And I have a college degree and I own a house and I have a great job. And I desperately wish I could go back and whisper in my ten year old ears, “Just write- ‘I’ll be happy” and leave it at that”.

Because in the end, that’s all I wanted for myself twenty years ago.

And that’s all I want for myself twenty years from now.

And even if I filled a paper right now with words about who I am, the one thing I’m proudest of is that I’m happy.

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2 Comments to “Here I Am.”

  1. I’m glad.
    and i love you.

  2. I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR WISHING FOR SO LITTLE. IT WOULD APPEAR TO ME THAT YOU ARE TRULY HAPPY, AND VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE THAT. I LOVE YOU.

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