A New Battlefield

I noticed a little fungus (side note-  fungus may be the second grossest word in the English language after moist) in my herb garden a few weeks ago. It seemed to have appeared overnight and honestly, it creeped me out. Mushroom-like in texture, but puke-like in appearance. I quickly scooped it out of there and tilled the dirt that was nearby. I mentioned it to a local gardener and he said it might be moisture-induced (so now I have both fungus and moisture words to contend with). Okay, easily solved, less watering, right?

Wrong.

Today I walked out to find this disgusting thing growing in new spots near my tomatoes.

I immediately started researching (I’m a librarian after all) and I’m so upset with my findings that I don’t know what to do.

This thing that has made itself at home in my garden goes by the name of Fuligo Septica. Sounds like a smooth-talking Italian, right?

Sure. Until you realize that last name is awfully similar to septic and are you ready for the common name? Are you really sure you want to know?

DOG VOMIT SLIME MOLD.

That’s right.

There’s something growing near me that is called DOG VOMIT SLIME MOLD.

And that is EXACTLY what it looks like.

See:

(this is not my personal photograph of it because I love my camera and refuse to use it to take photos of something so awful)

Apparently it grows overnight. Apparently it isn’t harmful to anything but your eyes because of how unappealing it looks. And -get this – apparently, in some areas of Mexico they eat it with eggs and refer to it as “caca de luna”.

Anyone with a semester’s worth of Spanish class should know what that means. And anyone with any sense knows not to eat something that is called both dog vomit slime mold and caca de luna. And yet, both names are perfectly fitting.

My only hope is that squirrels will hate it as much as I do and quit eating my strawberries because of it.

Or maybe they’ll turn out to be foodie squirrels and declare the vomit caca to be a delicacy and choose to devour it instead of my berries which would be a win/win for me.

A girl can dream, right?

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One Comment to “A New Battlefield”

  1. Totally gross. I hope it slides away soon.

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