When she wakes…

Emma sleeps

… she will be one.

A whole new number.

A whole year of months behind us.

I’ve thought time and time again about writing down her birth story but something always stops me. Emma herself, usually.

The thing is, all of the contractions and hours and nurses and shift changes aren’t what come to mind when I remember meeting Emma. It is the mostly silent drive to the hospital with Matt. Putting our hands on my stomach to feel her solid kicks one last time. It is checking in at the front desk and asking if anyone has ever just said, “No thanks, I’ve changed my mind” and left, because that was exactly what I wanted to do in that moment. It is sitting in the dark of the night with Matt and answering the nurses time and time again with a yes, yes, my husband really is always this calm. It is the minute between each push when my doctor and I laughed and joked at how much simpler this was than it had been with Abby. It is the weight of her on my chest. It is the way she looked straight into my eyes and all I could think was, oh, so this is how you love more than one. It is Matt gently kissing the tiniest nose I have ever seen. It is hearing Abby quietly singing Oh Holy Night over her baby sister. It is the four of us together.

We have so much to be thankful for. It has been a beautiful year.

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3 Comments to “When she wakes…”

  1. Love love love.

  2. You have a real gift – love reading your thoughts!

  3. clicked here on a whim, thought you were gone, not that i call… tears in my eyes. she is beautiful.

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